Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Whatever: Almost grown

One of my new year's mental plans was to remember that my family is almost grown up.

We are finally at that age where we can all do fun things TOGETHER.  All those days of extra crap gear being toted are gone. The girls in my family are all the same size and dare I say it, I am now the smallest and possibly the weakest. I am fine with that. (sorta).

What that means is now we can do really fun stuff. Like bike trips and hiking. For real hiking. The epiphany came last week when I realized we could trade my barely used road bike in for a new bike for one of the girls. And take a bike trip.





Thursday, August 15, 2013

Dirt: School started, again

Well,it happened.

School started. 
Despite my foot dragging and deep sighing, my wistful thinking and my child's hopefulness that it would not actually happen. School started Wednesday.
 




This is the first year we were not ready. 
The first year that I wasn't annoyed by cries of boredom. 
The first year I waited until the day before to even look at what we needed for school, much less buy a thing. We went shopping for school supplies at 2pm the day before.

 
Still, it is  nice to have them back in the swing of things. I started a new job and it is nice not to have to worry about what they are doing and try to arrange transportation and what not. 

Time marches on and they are back in school.


Saturday, February 2, 2013

Whatever: The List, February

 
 February is already making herself known. In my neck of the woods, January went out with a roar of tornadoes and flooding. February brought her cool and cute self calmly in with a blast of cold air and sunshine. We are cold here this weekend at Casa Swann, but we are happy. This Sunday my oldest daughter makes her Rite of  Confirmation, a path she sought out on her own. I personally feel confirmation and the rest of the Catholic rites, should be achieved with your own free will and heart. You must decide how you will celebrate your faith in God.
 
I was a busy girl in January. Cleaning out closets, looking around town for a rental space for our last Little Piggies sale, working, painting, etc. were attacked with the gusto that I feel at the start of a new year.  Lots of prayers have been lifted up as I struggle to find my place and watch my children grow and find their own. 
We are all growing and working towards goals. My husband has hiked dozens of miles with 6 bricks in a backpack training for an event he will do in June. He never ceases to amaze me.


http://media-cache-ec7.pinterest.com/originals/8f/72/f8/8f72f8ee9804adf78594c789adae8def.jpg
I miss these old school Valentines.
2013 is starting off as a year of reflection and hopefully personal growth. 
AND a year of checking things off. 
My lists keep me on track. 

 
 
2013:THE LIST
  1. Cut the laziness out of our family's life: This is actually working! I hide Facebook on my phone, took iPads away from bedrooms, and we still don't have cable. Family time is evolving slowly.
  2. Stop cursing: As my daughter likes to remind me, I am not doing so *&^% good.
  3. Drink more water. Check. Started filling up a water for the car.
  4. Be a better friend: I have gotten lazy in my friendships and my mental status shows it.  Step one of my plan is to call or text my friends when I think of them. If you are hearing from me a lot more lately, you now know why.
  5. Put myself out there for God. Lots of prayers and the light is emerging....YIKES
  6. Read  100 books. 5 down, 95 to go!
  7. Do a creative project a month. Working on a wine themed project. Crocheting still on table.
  8. Exercise with a purpose.  5 workouts a week, but no spin yet. However, I am seeing change, very very slow change.
  9. Teach my baby girl to cook.  We made cookies!
  10. Go back to school. Summer or fall.
  11. Finish our list of house projects.Ellie's room got painted. Boom.
  12. Organize my stuff. Cleaning out closet is scary, but I have taken 3 bags to charity.
  13. Stick to a financial plan to pay off all our debt by 2018.  Work in progress.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Dirt: Gotta brag


My daughter's swim banquet was last night. A tear was brought to my eye when it dawned on me that this was her last season as a middle school swimmer. Her lovely coach had kind words to say about her, including that she could be a real asset to the varsity team next year if she chooses to swim. 
That was a button poppin' moment. She rocked the championship and scored a fair amount of points for her team, taking almost a full minute off her 500, which is a lot in swimming.


8th graders



22 girls tried to sit around this table...that's team work

She was part of a super badass team that truly brought it. 22 girls who swam their finest all season and improved up until the very last race, outscoring their rival by over 200 points and the combined boys and girls team by over 100.  Last night we celebrated all those sweet girls aged 11-14.
 It was fun and very sweet and a little eye opening.


My husband and I sat with four other girl's parents and listened as they all complained about their daughters not talking to them anymore about anything. I was really surprised. There was a lot of " my kid never tells me anything" and "sometimes she forgets who we are and slips up and talks to us". I did not join in. My kids are pretty chatty with me. One is a little less, but if I pay attention, I know what is going on with her and most of her friends. In addition, these were "cool" parents who I know are understanding with their daughters.



The struggle within me it to stop trying to solve their problems as I did when they were little. My experience has led me to realize that if I keep my mouth shut and don't judge, I hear a lot more.  As someone who in her late teens realized her parents were there to help, I resolved to be like them. My step mom was the best at listening and keeping a straight face. I try to do the same. 


I have already had some pretty frank conversations with both daughters. No topic is off limits, even if it makes me uncomfortable.  The reality is that girls need adult female  supervision and examples, especially as they are becoming adults themselves. Leonard Sax talks about this in his book Girls On the Edge.  Dr. Sax suggests that teenage girls need a few close girlfriends, their mother and one or two adult women to guide them to adulthood. I am fortunate that my daughters are close to my sisters in addition to a few of the mothers of their peers.  We have limited the media in their lives, even recently cutting back on their iPad and laptop time. The reason being kids and especially girls want "the answers" and going to the internet is like going to someone's older sister who is very worldly and has no filter.

As a mom, I try to engage my girls in conversation and share my own life with them. They know my daily  struggles including trying to find my place in service to God, what I am feeling insecure about,  if I have cramps, which relationship is causing me strife, how I am struggling to workout, etc. I want them to see that the things they deal with right now are always going to be in their lives.

Coach LaRochelle

I hope the other parents were exaggerating  and were doing the things parents do in order to not seem like they are bragging about their kids. These are the best and brightest girls I know and it would be such a misfortune if their parents are missing that aspect of their lives.  Vice versa, the girls truly will be missing out if they don't allow their amazing parents to share their daily ups and downs.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Gratituesday: Following shoes


I love shoes. 
My parents called me Imelda in high school. I not only worked in the shoe department of a local department store, but I also spent a lot of my hard earned money on buying more shoes. At one point, I had over 100 pairs. 

I am not quite so gluttonous now. I have about 15 pairs of shoes, but wear only a few regularly. Running shoes, my beloved cowboy boots, a pair of Converse  my nephew bought me for Christmas, and my Rainbow flip flops which also double as my slippers are heavy in the rotation. I have a pair of black flats that I have literally almost worn out and am on the search for a pair as comfy to replace them. The rest are random shoes I wear often enough to warrant keeping, but not often enough to make the pile at the bottom of my closet.

For Christmas, I received two pairs of super cool Toms. One is more of a winter Tom and the other all season. I have worn them both once and foresee once shorts season is here, the all season  with be in high rotation with  my Rainbows.  I feel pretty cool thinking that somewhere, two people have a pair of shoes thanks to my Christmas wish and of course, Tom's famous one-for-one philosophy.

Yesterday, when I was putting my shoes away, I got to thinking about my own philosophy about giving.  Do I have one? I don't have a lot of money, so I am not ever going to be known as a great philanthropist in that sense. However, I have a lot of other things going for me. I have time, I have cool shoes and I can talk to kids.

My prayer for this year is for God to show me how I can serve Him better. This has led me to some deep reflection. Never an easy task, since I have to shut my own voice up to hear His, and I am a talker. A fill-in-the-silence nervous talker.  I, literally  have had to shut up. 

I have felt the hand of God sending me in a direction. Of course, I had to over analyze it and then get a reality check. My pride led me to think I needed to start at the top, when I really believe He wants me to start at the bottom. Giving, of my time and my self. 

So, while I wish I was as cool and visible as Blake Mycoski and could found a business as far reaching and hip as Toms, I realize I am to be a servant. God's servant and my fellow man's servant.
I am grateful to have been led, now I just need the courage to follow.

Hopefully, my shoes will take me there.

Curious?
Check back and I will share once I get the courage to take the leap. 

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Gratituesday: Two for one

I am a day late (always a dollar short). 
But, I was super busy yesterday with work and mom stuff, so today's post is two-fer!

I am painting Ellie's room. She is long over due some fun in her room and so Sunday I started in on it. Turns out, it needs a lot of work. Baseboards, chair rail and the walls all need attention as well as the doors. For now, I am painting walls three different colors, including chalkboard!
Photos later this week.

Inspiration photo


I have to squeeze the painting in around laundry, groceries, cooking and work. 
Work is the thing that I am most grateful for, and as an offshoot of that, prayers answered. 
I asked God to bless me with 10 courier deliveries a week. 
Last week. 10
This week already? 4, with three scheduled tomorrow and one on Thursday. 
I am not sure if I actually said the number 10 in my prayers, but I did pray asking for enough to make a difference. 10 makes a difference and 10 was what I had in my head as the number I needed to do.

Life is crazy, we have doubts about God and whether He is listening. 
I pray daily at least "Thanks". I am terrible at communicating with my friends. I am a mostly introverted person and putting myself outside of my head is hard. Talking to God is the same.
But, I know that I am better off when I do. And I know nothing is too small, ever. 

So my gratefulness and full heart are prayers answered.

I am cooking like crazy still. We are eating hot foods and enjoying the cool sunshine.


Menu for the Sunshine Week @  Casa Swann

  • Manhattan Chowder with shrimp and cod
  • Soup from the freezer ( chicken and southwest veggie)
  • BBQ chicken, spinach salad with pears and parm, baked sweet potatoes
  • DALS Pork (mama's going to the Moth Ball!)

Friday, January 18, 2013

Whatever: The good old days


Your kids don't change in front of your eyes. 
No, they are sneaky. They do it while you are sleeping, buying groceries, driving them to school or the million other places you go with them.

Then, one day while you are looking for a picture of something completely unrelated...
BAM!
The fact that they are so different and will continue to morph into something completely different later this year, next week, tomorrow slaps you upside  your heart. 
 
These little girls are not so little anymore.
 


Four short summers later...



 
Sigh.

I miss those little girl days of pink and stuffed animals. 

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Whatever: Example #263

She's my mini me.
She hates it now, but in time will love the things we share.
Including this.







These make my heart hurt, thinking someday she will leave and go far, far away. 

Friday, January 11, 2013

Dirt: Again with the routine?


As I have progressed through the stages of motherhood, I have realized two things. 
#1 A routine will save your life.
#2 Routines do not mean you are boring (at least that is what I tell myself.)


routine does not = these



My first daughter was an easy baby, except she never slept through the night. She nursed through the night. I was exhausted, but happy because she really didn't need a routine. I could go all day long and she would nap here and there and we were cool. We traveled across the country when she was 5 months old, first by plane, then by car. I never wanted to commit to a routine because I felt that as a new person in town and a new mom, I really needed flexibility to just live my life. And, if I am honest, I equated a routine as such a "mom thing" and while I had a child, I did not want to be labeled a mom. By 13 months I was pregnant again and we moved into "Mommy needs a routine...because Mommy  needs a nap" mode.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Dirt: Memories of my grandmothers


***WARNING...VERY LONG and POTENTIALLY BORING POST***


My daughters made a paper chain for our tree last night and it set off a chain of childhood  memories for me. I was taken back to when I was ten years old and my grandmother (Grandmomma) and I made a popcorn chain for her Christmas tree. 

That led me to thinking about all the amazing things I know how to do, thanks to my grandmothers (Grandmomma ,Grannie, Grandmother and Memaw).  I am who I am because of their love and the important things they shared with me. 

As a kid, my parents were divorced. I was two when their divorce was finalized. My father remarried that December and my mother the next year. I began the dance of the shared custody that many kids are very familiar with. My parents were young and as a result, I got to spend a lot of time with my grandparents. I loved my grandfathers, but my grandmothers were my world.

They could not have been any more different, but that worked out well for me.

My Grandmomma is still with us. She is the pillar of her church and really a pistol. She retired three years ago at the age of 81 from being the church secretary, mostly because I think she was grieving my grandfather.  She was 4'11 in her prime about 30 years ago. Now she is about 4'9", but her attitude  and extroverted personality made her about 6'5". 

She has tiny feet, so I could wear her shoes when I was about 9 years old. I rummaged through her closet and she let me wear her jewelry. She was not fancy at all, so her jewelry was small, like her. I also spent a lot of time trying on all of her lip gloss, trying out her combs and generally making a mess of her bathroom.
I now know she was patient beyond all belief as I spent a lot of time playing her vintage harmonica collection, perfecting my playing and making her sit for my concerts. She taught me how to boil eggs, how to grow a garden, and how to have an old fashioned Christmas. She is the popper of the popcorn. That same Christmas I learned how to crochet, and I made a chain for her tree as well. I thought it was the most beautiful tree in the world. We sang carols and drank cocoa, and she told me stories of being a girl during the depression. I know those stories still and a few years ago, got the more adult version of them. I look back at her and realize that she was just three years older than me when I was born, yet she has so much more patience than I do.


My other grandmother was a pistol as well, and knew  how to shoot one. 
She was wild and had my mother at 15, so she was young when I was born. She was my nude sunbathing, bikini wearing, country dancing Memaw. I loved being around her as she was the funniest person I knew and the most glamorous.

She made sure that my birthdays were super special, spending hours looking for that one important thing I had asked for. Thanks to her, I had designer jeans, a roll purse, a sweater with shoulder pads, and ankle boots (I am the child of the 80's). 
My step mother would have never have bought me any of that, so I think she took pleasure in buying it for me for that reason as well. We always went to Red Lobster and I drank Shirley Temples like the sophisticate I was trying to mimic.

Memaw was very into fashion, always had whatever was super cool in the way of high heels, clothes and especially makeup. She loved the " gift with purchase" and would always let me play in it. I wore loads of makeup when I was with her and lots of White Shoulders perfume. 
My sister got that gene from her, along with her sense of humor. 
I however, got the reading gene.She was a voracious reader and we would lie in bed reading til 2 am when I stayed with her. It was heaven.

 Being with her was always fun. I learned to cook, how to organize my address book, lots of dirty jokes, how to dance and how to paint my nails during my stays with her.  I learned about bras and she is the one who had THE TALK with me. She bought me a guinea pig and it lived with her for awhile. She took me to movie premiers and bought me my first real pair of cowboy boots, feeling both of these were important for a girl to be relevant as a teenager.

She had cancer and when it came back, she wrote down our family history for me. At the time, I was a ignorant teenager and did not appreciate what was happening or what she did. I lived with her the last year before she died, as the turmoil at my house was too much. I thank God for that time.

I was lucky, in that with remarriage, I got a third grandmother. She was my Grannie and loved me unconditionally, just as if I had been born into her family. I loved her with all my heart as well and spent a lot of time with her. She was a calmer person, which was something I needed in my life at the time.
 Going to her house was so calm and I learned the beauty of a routine. There were always cold cuts and 'Nilla Wafers. She was not the high strung glamor gal or the outgoing church lady. Instead, she was  a mother to five children, whom she loved unconditionally. The woman who prayed her rosary daily and took us little heathen to mass with the promise of gum if we were good. She  taught me to play dominoes and how to vacuum. I saw the office where she worked and the green house that she loved. I sat at the kids table in her kitchen as formed some of the best memories of my childhood there. The thing I took away from being her granddaughter was that family is the most important thing and feeding them is the best way to show love. 

I am a weird example of what family is. I am an only child with siblings. 

My mother divorced my step father, who became my Daddy when I was less than 3. So, when he remarried, his wife became my family as well.  As a teenager, my fourth and only Grandmother entered the picture. I have written about her before, but suffice it to say, she brought her A game to my life. I think about her often, for she was the person who made me think about what it means to believe in something enough to make a difference. 

I am a grown woman with two middle school daughters and I lean on those lessons I learned from four very different, but equally influential women.  As a mother, I have to temper all the fun things with discipline and rules.  They, however, had the license to be fun and the time to share the important things they had learned while mothering their own children, but at a more leisurely pace. Two of the three have seen or saw their great grandchildren and those were even more special, if that is possible, than the grandchildren they doted on. My children receive birthday books from my Grandmomma every year on their birthdays, usually they are relevant to things I have told her the girls are into at that particular time.


These women shaped me and my personality.
I experienced being the absolute center of attention from all of them, even though I had siblings and cousins to share the attention. I also learned skills and traits that have carried me into my adult years. I am a sentimental girl at heart, but I hate sappy cards, preferring dark and twisty humor. 
I am a Catholic like three of the the four, but I can sing the Church of Christ hymnal like it is my job. I love the old fashioned things about Christmas, including why the ornaments are special and why we have the same stockings our entire life. I put in a garden and try not to kill every house plant that comes my way (I usually fail). I love to cook and feed my family, but I also love to play game, drink and swear like a sailor. All of these things I learned, not from my parents, but from my time spent with my grandmothers.