Dirt: kids

My posts this week have been where my mind has been. On my marriage.

I have a great one. We all know that by now.

The by product of that is great kids.

I have two really great kids.

They are smart and funny. Compassionate and silly.

One is finding her way to being a grown woman with relationships that are complex and hopefully, uplifting. I watch as she struggles with "mean girls" and I struggle not to make hot headed calls to other mommas. The other is growing as an artist and trying to figure out her place in the world outside elementary school.

We are lucky as can be to have these great girls. 

They truly have made our lives full. We both thought we did not want to have a family, as we both are very selfish people with our selves.

There is never a serious picture of us...

But, as my husband once put it, we needed a family. Actually his words were " You just needed a family." He was talking about me needed closure on a sometimes difficult childhood.

And he was right, of course. I did. 

I needed someone to be selfless for. 

And as babies, they needed me. Now, they need me less and more, in different ways. But everyday, I am amazed by how truly rewarding it is to be an exhausted mom who has driven 100 miles in one day, who has stayed up late making cookies, gotten up early to hem a dress, make a lunch and find a gym shirt.

I never would have known the rewards and I probably would have been fine. We would have done something else with our time and, us being us, would have had fun. 

But, not like this.