Gratituesday: Marriage

*Gratituesday was yesterday and I was remiss in posting this on time*

A  couple that we are friends friends with are going through a divorce. 

I cannot say whether it is messy or just a divorce, as I have no experience in these matters other than my parents and I don't remember that.

The sadness that envelopes my heart when I speak to her is really heavy. He is not interested in sharing with us, and that is perfectly fine. I am not exactly comfortable with being in the middle, so to speak. But she is one of my best friends and so I am a listening ear and hopefully a comforting hand.

Steve and I like all couples, go through patches of not communicating well and not listening well. 

We are sometimes ships in the night, passing and leading our own separate lives. I can see how easy it would be to veer off course, away from each other.

Marriage is hard. 

However, we made a pact before we got married that we would work at being married. 

As children of divorce, both of us knew that it would be a hard road. That has been the beacon that has carried us through a lot of stress, arguments, tears and misunderstandings. 

The beacon is our love and our dedication to each other. The reality that we are in it together. We chose this path, hard or easy. That carries us through. 

Right now, I try to be in the moment with him. I love him so much it hurts my heart. He is funny, caring and smoking hot. And he is my partner. 

The forethought to think marriage through before we got to it has been one of the only things we have actually planned in nearly 20 years together. Everything else...seat of our pants. 

I like to think it is my most valued possession.

For that I am grateful.

Dirt: Running is our newest tradition

Steve and I started having a Saturday morning date these past few weeks.

Both of us wanted to start getting a little variety in our exercise routines and wanted a fun way to have a date in our busy schedules of schlepping kids around and work.

We are about the same fitness level right now when it comes to trails, so that is good. Usually Steve kicks my bee-hind in most things athletic. He is a freak when it comes to fitness. There is not much I have not seen him pickup quickly, literally and figuratively. 

We have been hitting the trail so far. We live in a great town which is very close to lots of trail heads within about 20 minutes of our house. Chattanooga has more trails within 30 minutes of downtown than Boulder. Making us the king of trails. So,  no excuses. Steve and I are working our way to much harder trails. 

In the mean time, we park at Ruby Falls and run on the Guild Hardy Trail. 

The dogs, Steve and I all have a great time and it makes our busy weekend just that much easier. 

The trail run also is a great stress reducer in our marriage as well. Life is great after a run.

*This week, I stopped and smelled the roses and took some shots of the amazingness that is Chattanooga.

Gratituesday: My life

My husband knows all the right things to say.

Yesterday, he told me that he likes reading my blog because it makes him feel like we lead a really cool life. Also that he gets to make out with a smart girl.

Seriously, that is why I married him. He says stuff like that.

Whatever: Happy 2013

Happy New Year!

Whew Doggie...this one is gonna be a great one if my New Year's Eve is any indication!

Not really a new year's eve kinda girl...but we had tickets to see Old Crow Medicine Show at the Ryman this year. The evening was one of those that either was going to make or break us.

We had the following go wrong or at least not according to plan:

#1 We left Chattanooga late

#2 The restaurant we planned on eating that DOES NOT take reservations, took them on New Year's Eve ONLY. (They were full, of course).

#3 I bought the wrong tights.

#4 The restaurant we decided last minute to go to was in East Nashville (East Nasty for those of you who are Nashvillians) and there was NO GETTING a cab to leave.

#5 Ticket Master would not sell us two tickets together. We had seats in different sections 6 rows apart.

#6 It rained. Hard.

#7 There were NO CABS.

Steve, Roy, Minni and me

Whatever: Happy Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary to the boy I married on the beach...

14 years ago today!

I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Life has been one great party with you...

Thanks for bringing me along for the ride...

I love you!

Gratituesday: 17 years

Today is the 17th anniversary of my first date with my husband.

That sounds like such a long time ago, but it seems like three days ago. At least,most days it does. I look at him every day and I still see the cutest boy in the world who has the very best laugh.

We dated for a long time (three years) and still date as often as we can. 

When we first started going out, I was almost sick, I was so excited to be around him.

I realize now, that is what true love feels like. He would show up to pick me up at my apartment wearing black socks with Birkenstock sandals just to  mess with me. I thought he was adorable. He had the strongest shoulders and the most hilarious sense of humor. I was a goner!

Now, 17 years later, I don't feel sick when I am around him. Instead, I feel calm. He makes me feel like everything is going to be fine. He still makes me laugh, really laugh, from my belly.

 I still think he is adorable, even more so  now that I really and truly know him. He is one of the most generous people I know, and will give anyone the shirt off his back or his bike shoes, tools, last piece of gum, whatever.  He expects the same in return and often has the most generous friends.

 I am one lucky girl to have him in my life.

We are going on a date tomorrow night to celebrate our 14 years of marriage. Three years and one day after our first date, we gathered a few of our nearest and dearest and stood before them and God. We said to each other..."Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God." -Ruth 1:16 

I am so grateful that we did.

Gratituesday: Dates

My husband and I dated for a long time. Three years (and one day) to be exact.

When we tell people that, they usually ask "Why?"

Lots of reasons, but mostly two...

We are children of divorce and he was in school.

As we had kids almost immediately after we got married (13 months and 5 days later), I am glad we got to spend all that time dating.

We had a blast. We were awesome daters.

My husband was the master of coming up with fun things to do. Once he came up with what he said would be  "the most fun day ever". Our plan was to do everything that was "fun". We started out with brunch at the St. Louis Art Museum, a favorite of ours. Then we roller bladed around Forest Park, went to a movie, headed for a St. Louis Cardinals baseball game, and ended it by hearing a local band ( I think it was Swing Set)at one of our favorite watering holes. The date lived up the the hype. That was the kind of daters we were.

My favorite thing about those three years is that we became really good friends.  We were insanely attracted to each other and were hardly ever apart.We ate at all the hottest restaurants, heard a lot of bands, danced our butts off and went to loads of movies and plays. We went to dog walks, art shows, went sledding and roller blading all over St. Louis. All the while, as we were sharing our thoughts and having fun, we also were building a great foundation for our future.

As, I said, we had our daughter almost immediately after we got married. We also spent 8  months apart (most of my pregnancy) while he attended a practice management school and I moved to Chattanooga to get a house and a doctor. After 8 months, he started his practice and I finished growing a baby. Times were turbulent and stressful beyond belief. But, we made it through, mostly because we are stubborn, but also because we had a great foundation.

As our family  has grown, we have worked to keep our marriage strong. Dates help. Sometimes we struggle to see each other as someone other than a partner in raising kids. Sometimes we lead separate lives in the same space. Yet, we both realize our marriage is something we both want and need.

As I  have watched the years go by, I have come to the  realization that marriage is messy, hard and very annoyingly monotonous. You can let it drag you down and get into your psyche OR you can mix it and do something to end the monotony. My  husband took me on two dates last week AND we went skating with our kids, somethings we used to do when we dated (albeit we used to go on ice).  We mixed it up and went to a cooking class AND went to hear a band that we both love. Both were fun, both recharged our marriage batteries.

I am so grateful for the chance to date my husband I could almost cry. I mean really, it gets me that emotional. Life is hard and going it alone would be even harder. Having someone who is fun ,makes me laugh, and who is in my corner makes it so much easier. Even better that I love him and he loves me and we both love this...

Strung Like A Horse | Byrd Dog from Tomás Donoso on Vimeo.