My husband and I dated for a long time. Three years (and one day) to be exact.
When we tell people that, they usually ask "Why?"
Lots of reasons, but mostly two...
We are children of divorce and he was in school.
As we had kids almost immediately after we got married (13 months and 5 days later), I am glad we got to spend all that time dating.
We had a blast. We were awesome daters.
My husband was the master of coming up with fun things to do. Once he came up with what he said would be "the most fun day ever". Our plan was to do everything that was "fun". We started out with brunch at the St. Louis Art Museum, a favorite of ours. Then we roller bladed around Forest Park, went to a movie, headed for a St. Louis Cardinals baseball game, and ended it by hearing a local band ( I think it was Swing Set)at one of our favorite watering holes. The date lived up the the hype. That was the kind of daters we were.
My favorite thing about those three years is that we became really good friends. We were insanely attracted to each other and were hardly ever apart.We ate at all the hottest restaurants, heard a lot of bands, danced our butts off and went to loads of movies and plays. We went to dog walks, art shows, went sledding and roller blading all over St. Louis. All the while, as we were sharing our thoughts and having fun, we also were building a great foundation for our future.
As, I said, we had our daughter almost immediately after we got married. We also spent 8 months apart (most of my pregnancy) while he attended a practice management school and I moved to Chattanooga to get a house and a doctor. After 8 months, he started his practice and I finished growing a baby. Times were turbulent and stressful beyond belief. But, we made it through, mostly because we are stubborn, but also because we had a great foundation.
As our family has grown, we have worked to keep our marriage strong. Dates help. Sometimes we struggle to see each other as someone other than a partner in raising kids. Sometimes we lead separate lives in the same space. Yet, we both realize our marriage is something we both want and need.
As I have watched the years go by, I have come to the realization that marriage is messy, hard and very annoyingly monotonous. You can let it drag you down and get into your psyche OR you can mix it and do something to end the monotony. My husband took me on two dates last week AND we went skating with our kids, somethings we used to do when we dated (albeit we used to go on ice). We mixed it up and went to a cooking class AND went to hear a band that we both love. Both were fun, both recharged our marriage batteries.
I am so grateful for the chance to date my husband I could almost cry. I mean really, it gets me that emotional. Life is hard and going it alone would be even harder. Having someone who is fun ,makes me laugh, and who is in my corner makes it so much easier. Even better that I love him and he loves me and we both love this...
Strung Like A Horse | Byrd Dog from Tomás Donoso on Vimeo.