Saturday, May 7, 2011

Whatever: Motherhood or how I became crazy

The M word. Mother.
I  never thought I wanted to be a mother. 
I had other plans, other ideas and other wants for myself.  I wanted to travel the world, live life out of a duffel bag and  have a fancy two seater car.  I wanted a clean house and adult vacations.
Motherhood, at least when it happened, was not one of my plans.

what can I say...I loved that show Hart to Hart!

Motherhood was for those girls who needed something to fill their lives.
I thought you had to be crazy to want to become a mother. 
Little. Did. I. Know.

I had other plans, but I truly believe that God had plans for me that included getting out of my head,
out of my comfort zone and out of my selfishness.
Plans that included loving someone and being willing to sit on the sideline while they shine. Being willing to walk around with poo/spit up/ dirt/ gum on my person and be okay with it because it came out of a little person that came out of me. Plans that involved being driven  more than just a little bit crazy
and still striving to be the best I can be so that I am the best example for someone else's happiness. 

I would like to say I came to it easily. I didn't. I would like to say I am a natural. I am not. 
I turned around when my oldest was 6 months old and was shocked that she was sitting there in her highchair. I started bawling! It hit me, " I am a mother."
 I still find myself at a loss for words when it comes to raising my daughters. Sometimes that is a good thing.

 As it turns out, I love being a mother. 
Not every second of every day, but most of the seconds of every hour. 
My kids are pretty great. They are kind and thoughtful people. They are interesting and they are funny. 
I hope that when they grow up they will say that I was funny, diligent, patient (doubt I'll hear that one), kind,
 a little bit crazy (but in the good way), an excellent cook, a good friend and  most of all that I loved them.

Happy Mother's day to all the great  mothers in the world.

1 comment:

  1. I had no idea that you didn't want to be a mommy. Sometimes, I think that makes the best ones though. It's taken me a while to come to the realization that I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING. And I'm pretty sure that's a great way to start parenting. Rather than thinking I have it all figured out, I want to be the mom that takes things in stride, learns from mistakes, and is willing to evolve into something great. Does that even make sense?

    Anyways, you have great daughters and I remember talking to them in the Linen Closet so many years ago!